It’s fine to like ‘Hot Frosty’, but you’re kind of a weirdo (Movie Review)

SALT LAKE CITY (ABC4) — Yes, I’m reviewing this. Why? Simple…Chaos…

From Netflix comes the Hallmark-inspired romcom “Hot Frosty”. Kathy (Lacey Chabert) is a chef who recently became a widow. She’s unable to repair the damage caused by her tragic loss both figuratively and literally, as the walls of her home are caving in and in disrepair.

One magical night, Kathy decides to warm up a snowman using her scarf… Now, you would logically be thinking of any traditional three-sphere Frosty, but you’d be dead wrong. This is a ripped and sweaty snowman who the next morning comes to life! Now Cathy will have to contend with a “Jacked Frost” (Dustin Milligan) or, in the film’s case “Jack Snowman” (no, I’m not making this up) whose warm and bright spirit begins to warm up her sad, bereaved heart.

There are a few things I didn’t realize until it was too late with “Hot Frosty”. First is just how prolific Lacey Chabert has become in these styles of romantic Christmas stories. If you were an actress looking to be cast in a new Hallmark holiday film, and Chabert walked in the door? You might as well pack it up because the role was never yours to begin with. I have to respect the hustle. With 30 Hallmark films in the can already, she might be the Robert Downey Jr. of the Hallmark cinematic universe!

Another thing that took way too long to notice is Dustin Milligan, who I know from the outstanding comedy series “Schitts Creek” where he plays the kind-hearted vet Ted Mullens. He still brings that charisma and kindness in “Hot Frosty”, which may be the saving grace for this dapper snowman. There’s absolutely no problem in loving films in this genre, but if you’re getting sweaty for “Hot Frosty”… you might be a bit of a weirdo.

Now, I don’t want to kink-shame or anything, but who in the “Stephanie Meyer, E. L. James, fanfiction-turned-movie” came up with this idea? The story is a regurgitated fish-out-of-water “not from these parts” storyline we’ve seen countless times now. He helps the community, he gets into innocent trouble with dubious lawmen, and, yes… there are countless shirtless scenes for all the snowmen and snowwomen watching. The main draw from what I can tell online is morbid curiosity, and a desperate search for anything to make the end of 2024 not the worst season finale of “America” ever.

I don’t want to demean the writer, and this phrase often gets thrown around nowadays, especially when the dialogue seems clunky and inhuman, but “Hot Frosty” has to have been written by ChatGPT. I feel like, with enough prompting, you would genuinely get some type of script similar to what we have here, and that both is hilarious to me and terrifying at the same time.

The performances are good. Everyone knows what this film is and is leaning into it, which works. The two officers, Deputy Sheriff Ed Schatz (Joe Lo Truglio) and Sheriff Nathaniel Hunter (Craig Robinson), are incredibly funny comics and were severely underutilized in this. I needed them to come in and improvise everything because hearing them try to ham up bad comedic writing just made me sad for the wasted talent (especially since Joe Lo Truglio played one of the funniest detectives in “Brooklyn Nine-Nine”).

The film may be under a “TV-PG” rating, but there are plenty of innuendos and double entendres to compensate for the perceived innocence. To me, why not go all out? This is “Hot Frosty” we’re talking about, not “lukewarm puddle Chad”. Plus, we’re not on Hallmark. We’re on Netflix, which to me was such a missed opportunity to see if they could up the competition, not imitate them. Oh great, now I’m the weirdo.

Overall, I’ve spent too much time talking about “Hot Frosty”, which might mean it did its job as a social experiment. For a movie? Not quite, but who am I to yuck someone’s yum? If you go in knowing exactly what to expect, you cannot be disappointed, and, shockingly, there are some fun moments to have in this movie. It’s not my cup of hot cocoa, but if you want to go through what I just did and already have a Netflix account, then let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

See It or Skip It? See It (if you’re naughty)

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